09 June 2015

An Open Letter to My In-Laws Regarding the Care of My Dogs


I KNOW I make fun of my sister for writing out seventeen pages of notes for me whenever I take care of the girls, and now here I am doing it for our dogs.

DOGS, people. DOGS.

My sweet, somewhat gluttons-for-punishment in-laws have volunteered to keep Suka, Knuke and Kaia for the next two to three weeks while we transition from Florida to Mississippi.

I know they'll do a great job, they really love their Grandpuppies, but I'm still that Paranoid Crazy Dog Mom Lady.

Seriously, you might want to pass on the other side of the street if you see me.

Dear Mom and Dad W:

Matt thinks I'm insane, and has told me so on a daily basis, so I ask that you guys just humor me. I know they're just dogs, but they're dogs that have feelings and emotions and are basically human.

So here it is. The Daily Schedule. It's pretty intense with snuggling and belly rubs and specialty treats made out of buffalo and sweet potatoes, but I have all the faith that you can do this.

6:00ish AM - Outside for potty. They usually just tinkle then come back in to fall back asleep. Kaia may or may not start howling for breakfast. Just tell her to chill and she'll calm down.

Actually, she won't. She just increases in volume and frequency.

You can actually set your clocks by her pre-meal songs. Daylight Savings threw her off her game for a little bit, but she figured it out and is now bigger and louder than ever.


Between 7:00 - 8:00 am - Breakfast. Suka gets the blue bowl, Knuke has the green slow-down bowl and Kaia's is the pink slow-down bowl. The huskies each get one scoop and Knuke gets a scoop and a half. They need to be fed in separate corners because none of them know how to eat within the same vicinity of each other without growling and trying to show who's boss.

It's Kaia, BTW. The boys are scared to death of her.

Suka may not eat, but that's normal. He's a snacker while the others are scarfers.

After breakfast, outside again for morning poops.

Then I usually leave for work, and they have free reign of everything in the house. I think they mostly sleep, but the toy basket is available just in case.

***I know at this point (actually way before this point), I'm sounding like a ridiculously crazy dog lady. I'm sorry. So very, very sorry. There's actually more. I'm so sorry.***

After work, afternoonish, whatever - outside for potty, play, etc. The only thing I'm worried about is Suka trying to dig under your fence...I know this also sounds OCD/paranoid/overprotective, but huskies are known escape artists and can't ever be left alone or off leash unless they're inside a physical structure.

And even then it's a crapshoot. Suka is sneaky. This is the boy who can open all the bedroom doors by himself - I can't decide if I'm proud or horrified.

Dinner is around 6, same setup as breakfast. After dinner, outside for potty.

Before and after dinner, they're used to some pretty intense snuggling and ear rubs. Knuke likes to be on the couch with his head in my lap while we watch TV or read...until Suka freaks out and makes Knuke move over so he can take his place. Kaia just likes to wander around with her bear in her mouth. Or her sockball. Or both.

She's special.

Last potty is right before bedtime, around 9-10pm.

Bedtime- Knuke preferably likes to sleep between your legs with his head on your butt all. night. long, so then you wake up in a dripping sweat, unable to move any lower-body muscles. It's awesome.

Also, can you continually talk to them and tell them I haven't abandoned them and that I love and miss them? And text me pictures of them every five minutes?



PS: We'll pay for any damages, physical and/or mental.