27 July 2010

The One with the Hypochondria

Cami-girl and I went for a little jog/walk tonight.
The jog turned into a walk solely because of the disgusting humidity that made me sweat through my shirt.
Not because I can't move my rear up the gigantic hills in the subdivision. That's not the reason at all.
Not because I've spent the past three months sitting on my butt in class and not exercising and have completely lost all endurance and muscle tone.
Nope. That's not the reason at all. It was completely the humidity. Yeah.
So as Cami and I trudged up the last hill towards home gasping and panting (me, not her) I saw a little girl pushing a stroller.
How cute, I thought. She must be pushing her baby doll.
As I got closer, I saw that, in fact, it wasn't.
It was even better.
This cute little girl was pushing her teeny little white fluffy dog down the street!
As I passed her, I told her that I liked her puppy and thought it was cute.
"She's my baby," the little girl replied. So. Cute.
It reminded me of when my sister and I were little, and we would dress up our kitty cats in doll clothes and push them up and down the sidewalk in front of the house.
Sure, our house was also the funeral home and people going in for a service would look at us like we were from another planet, but hey. Like I said, we grew up in a funeral home. We were used to weird looks.
Speaking of weird, I've self-diagnosed myself with about 29 bazillion different pathologies in class this week.
I just know that I have:
  • GERD (From all the caffeine I've been downing between classes. And in the morning. And before bed. And while I brush my teeth.)
  • Anxiety-related ulcers (Because I don't know if M is feeding the dogs properly while I'm gone during the week.)
  • Orthostatic hypotention (How else do you explain the dizziness and wanting to pass out after riding The Batman seven times in a row at Six Flags?)
  • Hypoglycemia (M just says I'm crabby because I'm tired or hungry or both.)
  • Schizophrenia (Which gives me nightmarish hallucinations of not answering entire pages of pathophysiology test questions)
  • Bipolar disorder (Why else would I have thought it was a good idea to quit a perfectly good job and go back to school full-time??)
See? I'm melting.
Mmmmm....melting. Ice cream. Preferably vanilla with those little chocolate sprinkles.
Today I love: Good friends who let me vent about classes and the tomato-pesto pasta with pine nuts (say that 10 times fast) that Gretchen made for dinner. That deserves another "mmmmm!!"

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